It Takes a Village to Raise a Child: Why We’ve Moved Away From It and What That Means for Our Kids

There’s an old proverb that says: “It takes a village to raise a child”. For generations, this wasn’t just a saying - it was a lived reality. Families were surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, and community members who all played a part in nurturing., guiding, and supporting children as they grew.

But in today’s fast-paced, modern world, many families are raising their children in isolation - and the impacts of this shift are being felt deeply, both by parents and children.

What the Village Once Looked Like

Traditionally, raising children was a shared responsibility:

Grandparents passed down wisdom, stories, and cultural traditions.

Neighbors kept an eye out and offered a helping hand.

Communities created safe spaces where children belonged, whether through schools, religious centres, or community events.

Parents didn’t carry the weight alone; they were part of a wider net of love and support.

This “village” meant children grew up surrounded by role models, care, and accountability. Parents had shoulders to lean on, and children had multiple sources of love and learning.

Why We’ve Moved Away From the Village

Modern life has changed the way families live and connect.

Geographic spread: Families often live far apart, with grandparents and relatives in different cities or countries.

Busy Lifestyles: Long work hours, commutes, and financial stress leave little time for deep community ties.

Individualism: Society places emphasis on independence and self-sufficiency, rather than interdependence.

Technology: While it connects us globally, it sometimes distances us from the people living right next door.

The result? Parents are often expected to “do it all” - work, raise children, manage the household - without the network of support previous generations relied on.

The Impacts of Losing the Village

The loss of communal child-raising has ripple effects:

On Parents:

Increased stress, overwhelm, and burnout.

Greater risk of postnatal depression and feelings of isolation.

Pressure to be the “perfect parent” without guidance and relief.

On Children:

Fewer opportunities for multi-generational wisdom and mentorship.

Less exposure to diverse role models and community values.

Feelings of isolation or disconnection in a fragmented society.

On Society:

Weakened sense of belonging and connection.

Less resilience in families when crisis occur.

A growing mental health burden as parents and children navigate life without collective support.

Rebuilding the Village Today

While our world has changed, the need for a village hasn’t. In fact, it may be more vital than ever. Here are ways we can begin to bring it back:

Seek community spaces: playgroups, libraries, community centers, parenting circles.

Create support networks: swap childcare with trusted friends, join walking groups, or starts a “mum circle”.

Reconnect with family: even if distant, regular calls, visits, and improvement can make a difference.

Be the village for others: check in on a new parent, offer to cook a meal, or simply listen without judgment.

Final Thoughts

Parenting was never meant to be done in isolation. When we step back and remember the wisdom of the proverb - it takes a village to raise a child - we honor both parents and children by placing them in the heart of community.

By slowly rebuilding our “villages” - whether through friendship, neighborhoods, or chosen family - we not only lighten the load on parents, but we raise children who feel safe, connected, and loved by many.

Check out what is coming next at Consciously Healthy for mums! The village is returning! Will you join us?